Extract from “Rainbow Dash and the Open Plan Office”.
Dash was
tapping away on the only thing a pony could ever love, the Das Keyboard with
rainbow colored LED Cherry Blues. Dash is nothing if not on brand when it comes
to illumination. It had been bought in a pique of distain for equine kind, a
real low point in what Dash liked to call, annus mirabilis. It was clear Dash
liked to sound smart but had skipped Latin lessons at school.
Applejack
tried to remain oblivious to the click-clacking coming from the next desk over.
But even with the comically over-sized noise cancelling headphones, more akin
to ear defenders than something to listen to music with, it all got too much.
“Hey, Dash,
did you really have to buy such a noisy keyboard?”, Applejack queried with a tinge
of anger. “Very much so, it allows my creativity to flow. Real professionals
need real tools. You can’t be a real professional with some inferior Cherry
Reds.”, Dash shot back. “Well, if your profession is shit posting on Reddit
that might be true, but you’ve only committed 10 lines of code in the past week.”.
This elicited an indignant response from Dash, “I spend my time meticulously
crafting dulcet prose. Only when it’s ready do I commit my 1000-line object d’art
to a change request for reading by mere mortals like yourself.”.
Letting out
a groan of frustration Applejack went back to staring at the monitor to wonder
why the borrow checker was throwing errors again. The job was only to make ends
meet until the debt on the farm could be repaid after the “incident”. At any
rate arguing wasn’t worth the time, everyone knew Dash was a favorite of the basement dwelling boss,
nothing that pony could do would really lead to anything close to a satisfactory
defenestration.
“Have you
ever wondered how everyone on the internet is so stupid?”, Dash opined, almost
to nopony in particular. Applejack, clearly seeing an in, retorted “Well George
Carlin is quoted as saying “Think of how stupid the average person is, and
realize half of them are stupider than that.”, it’s clear where the dividing
line exists in this office”. “I think if George had the chance to use Twitter
he might have revised the calculations a bit” Dash quipped either ignoring the
barb or perhaps missing it entirely.
To be
continued… not.