Extract from “Rainbow Dash and the Open Plan Office”.
Dash was tapping away on the only thing a pony could ever love, the Das Keyboard with rainbow colored LED Cherry Blues. Dash is nothing if not on brand when it comes to illumination. It had been bought in a pique of distain for equine kind, a real low point in what Dash liked to call, annus mirabilis. It was clear Dash liked to sound smart but had skipped Latin lessons at school.
Applejack tried to remain oblivious to the click-clacking coming from the next desk over. But even with the comically over-sized noise cancelling headphones, more akin to ear defenders than something to listen to music with, it all got too much.
“Hey, Dash, did you really have to buy such a noisy keyboard?”, Applejack queried with a tinge of anger. “Very much so, it allows my creativity to flow. Real professionals need real tools. You can’t be a real professional with some inferior Cherry Reds.”, Dash shot back. “Well, if your profession is shit posting on Reddit that might be true, but you’ve only committed 10 lines of code in the past week.”. This elicited an indignant response from Dash, “I spend my time meticulously crafting dulcet prose. Only when it’s ready do I commit my 1000-line object d’art to a change request for reading by mere mortals like yourself.”.
Letting out a groan of frustration Applejack went back to staring at the monitor to wonder why the borrow checker was throwing errors again. The job was only to make ends meet until the debt on the farm could be repaid after the “incident”. At any rate arguing wasn’t worth the time, everyone knew Dash was a favorite of the basement dwelling boss, nothing that pony could do would really lead to anything close to a satisfactory defenestration.
“Have you ever wondered how everyone on the internet is so stupid?”, Dash opined, almost to nopony in particular. Applejack, clearly seeing an in, retorted “Well George Carlin is quoted as saying “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”, it’s clear where the dividing line exists in this office”. “I think if George had the chance to use Twitter he might have revised the calculations a bit” Dash quipped either ignoring the barb or perhaps missing it entirely.
To be continued… not.